Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
