how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
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Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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