He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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