She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
