Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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