Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
