i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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