he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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