batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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