my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
