Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
