I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I have already put on my inside pants.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize