Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize