i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
The air taste purple.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
