Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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