I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
