just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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