I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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