I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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