Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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