we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
