I bet he comes in French.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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