I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
