yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
