something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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