Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.

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  (781): i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up. http://tfl.nu/navv
  Replies (12) Good night (4695) Bad night (725)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps

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  (703): i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps http://tfl.nu/14e5
  Replies (24) Good night (1422) Bad night (8274)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life

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  (301): in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life http://tfl.nu/47y4
  Replies (34) Good night (7852) Bad night (1883)
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  (916): View more from California

  The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.

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  (916): The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless. http://tfl.nu/34a1
  Replies (27) Good night (6090) Bad night (1312)
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  (315): View more from New York

  idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.

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  (315): idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever. http://tfl.nu/p80i
  Replies (11) Good night (8686) Bad night (1052)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  it's like her boobs came off with her bra

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  (412): it's like her boobs came off with her bra http://tfl.nu/ua1r
  Replies (55) Good night (1596) Bad night (15510)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with

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  (313): he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with http://tfl.nu/73j2
  Replies (6) Good night (3154) Bad night (928)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13

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  (781): after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13 http://tfl.nu/mex2
  Replies (7) Good night (1265) Bad night (2502)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.

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  (870): No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you. http://tfl.nu/b7m8
  Replies (6) Good night (1754) Bad night (639)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me

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  (574): It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me http://tfl.nu/pd5w
  Replies (8) Good night (1455) Bad night (897)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship

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  (608): Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship http://tfl.nu/u2r6
  Replies (4) Good night (914) Bad night (298)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03

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  (304): Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03 http://tfl.nu/37tw
  Replies (3) Good night (282) Bad night (531)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.

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  (720): Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality. http://tfl.nu/zwr4
  Replies (0) Good night (389) Bad night (252)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.

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  (423): New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class. http://tfl.nu/ex1j
  Replies (0) Good night (276) Bad night (314)
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  (951): View more from California

  I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him

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  (951): I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him http://tfl.nu/3cah
  Replies (3) Good night (298) Bad night (557)

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