Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...

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  (631): You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came... http://tfl.nu/52j1
  Replies (11) Good night (971) Bad night (3096)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout

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  (712): the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout http://tfl.nu/qr0c
  Replies (14) Good night (5043) Bad night (864)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.

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  (630): something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me. http://tfl.nu/yxh1
  Replies (28) Good night (1051) Bad night (4691)
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  (310): View more from California

  it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.

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  (310): it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls. http://tfl.nu/2hrl
  Replies (30) Good night (10650) Bad night (1110)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.

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  (810): woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag. http://tfl.nu/ubfv
  Replies (8) Good night (1916) Bad night (3111)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug

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  (815): shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug http://tfl.nu/1b7i
  Replies (3) Good night (877) Bad night (3051)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..

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  (815): it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching.. http://tfl.nu/6kt4
  Replies (10) Good night (2729) Bad night (1351)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.

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  (+44): i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit. http://tfl.nu/4l0m
  Replies (5) Good night (2095) Bad night (1010)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition

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  (425): the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition http://tfl.nu/w42o
  Replies (11) Good night (4261) Bad night (1192)
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  (760): View more from California

  Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.

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  (760): Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland. http://tfl.nu/5y5k
  Replies (11) Good night (4027) Bad night (722)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.

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  (269): I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax. http://tfl.nu/b5v2
  Replies (5) Good night (2727) Bad night (716)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person

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  (816): I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person http://tfl.nu/5a3b
  Replies (2) Good night (1222) Bad night (535)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.

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  (781): Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all. http://tfl.nu/k6ec
  Replies (1) Good night (589) Bad night (313)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that

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  (203): so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that http://tfl.nu/ocbs
  Replies (0) Good night (773) Bad night (489)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams

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  (303): If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams http://tfl.nu/psml
  Replies (1) Good night (576) Bad night (334)

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