i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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