I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face