I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
This is classic penis vs brain.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.