Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.

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  (313): Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra. http://tfl.nu/n0j6
  Replies (5) Good night (1969) Bad night (819)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator

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  (503): It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator http://tfl.nu/0fh7
  Replies (2) Good night (1133) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.

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  (865): dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends. (302): You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win. (865): They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life. http://tfl.nu/4iwq
  Replies (13) Good night (3062) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??

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  (361): Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture?? http://tfl.nu/iimu
  Replies (11) Good night (5730) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.

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  (910): No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate. http://tfl.nu/lhje
  Replies (4) Good night (2767) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.

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  (937): The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull. http://tfl.nu/s2w2
  Replies (8) Good night (3595) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.

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  (412): I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket. http://tfl.nu/hou4
  Replies (7) Good night (1446) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night

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  (314): Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night http://tfl.nu/67n5
  Replies (10) Good night (2811) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.

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  (765): I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night. http://tfl.nu/jw9u
  Replies (17) Good night (906) Bad night (4286)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.

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  (734): He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point. http://tfl.nu/zkwk
  Replies (4) Good night (1404) Bad night (654)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  They took my balls.

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  (575): They took my balls. http://tfl.nu/tyz5
  Replies (11) Good night (452) Bad night (1046)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you

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  (904): All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you http://tfl.nu/8984
  Replies (2) Good night (407) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0

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  (231): he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0 http://tfl.nu/ayul
  Replies (6) Good night (351) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"

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  (858): Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick" http://tfl.nu/uds1
  Replies (2) Good night (590) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night

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  (843): If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night http://tfl.nu/kgui
  Replies (1) Good night (399) Bad night (542)

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