Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
