I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
