Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
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He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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