I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
