Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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