so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
