Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
