come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
