Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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