its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
