I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize