i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
