White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
