I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
