I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
