There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
