considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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