Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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