Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
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there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
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Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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