ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
