So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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