i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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