Whod you bang
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
