And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
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He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
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The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction