i can juggle bunnies
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.