Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
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I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
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This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?