I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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