so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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