i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I hope mine doesn't look like that
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
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i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
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i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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