well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Randomize
