I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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